For the first time in a long time ...

For the first time in a long time, I played my violin, here in Afghanistan. Today. I made music. Just a couple of hours ago. In my own little way, and with my limited repertoire, I created something beautiful, in the midst of all this death and destruction. To some, on my $30 Chinese violin, it may not have been beautiful. It was to me. I bought a cheap one just to have one here. The mere presence of a violin comforts me here, in this lonely war. I hadn't touched it in months. The case had started to collect a nice coat of dust, like everything else here that sits for more than a few hours.
The occasion for playing, you ask? A friend of mine here, an Air Force sergeant, asked me casually last night if I knew anyone who either played the harmonica or fiddle.
Hmmm. I pondered that for a while before volunteering to teach her what I could. She's agreed to buy it, which is nice. I had often wondered what I would do with my violin, when I go off to yet another remote location here in Afghanistan, in only a few days. I am going to a couple of the fun places (Naray and Kamdesh) mentioned here:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060808/ap_on_re_as/afghan_northern_exposure

My problem is, I let things affect me too much. I haven't listened to music for weeks until last night, when my good friend Darby (Hollis, he's on my page) played a DVD of the Blue Man Group in the MWR. Bizarre, but I enjoyed it immensely especially when the guest singer, Tracy something, pulled out a violin during their version of The Who's Baba O'Riley (better known as Teenage Wasteland). I was thinking then how much I missed music. How I long for it, go mad for it, crave it. I do this to myself, you know. I have 39.12 gigs of music at my immediate disposal. 9,568 songs. (Plus 10 gigs I haven't added to my iTunes, yet.) A few seconds, and my aural senses can be filled with Mozart, Vivaldi, Metallica, Guns 'N Roses, Alison Krauss, Elvis Presley, Alan Jackson, or even Culture Club, if I really wanted. (I have several gigs of 80s music, alone, not to copious ampounts of mention country, classical and metal). I have so much great music, with so much more to acquire. I really need to weed some of it out, what I have now. (If I told you where I got it all, I'd have to kill you).
I just hadn't been in any musical mood for weeks, until now. Sure, a random song would pop into my head sometimes, and I would listen to that. With my musical memory, I really don't even need my iPod.
I don't know how long this musical mood will last. Probably just a few more days at least, until my first-ever pupil departs to go home on leave, and I depart to go to parts of Afghanistan that I'd rather not see. By all accounts, though, Nuristan (aka Kafiristan "Land Of The Infidels" (or Unbelievers)), one of the most unreachable parts of the world, is also one of the most breathtaking and scenic parts of our planet. I hope to be able to capture some of the beauty of the land and its people with my new camera, and eventually post them on my photosite (part of Yahoo!): http://www.flickr.com/photos/violinsoldier/
I've heard that this is truly The Land That Time Forgot.
I just checked my iTunes. The last song I listened to was "I Hate Myself For Loving You", by Joan Jett And The Blackhearts. July 4th, @ 0043. (Thats 12:43 AM). What was I doing then? I don't know. Don't remember. Like so many days here, they just run together. I always wear a watch, so I can always know the time. Do I always know the date or day of the week? Doesn't matter much. But why no music since then, when music is such an integral part of my life? I can't answer that, either.
I do know that it felt good, it felt nice, to help someone searching for musical knowledge. I enjoyed helping her, showing her how to hold the violin and the bow. Although I am not a maestro by any account, it felt good to impart some of my violin knowledge unto her. Like so many other things, it transported me to a more peaceful place and time. I really don't know how much of what I showed and told her actually sank into her brain. I'll find out tomorrow when she returns for round two. It was probably more beneficial to me. After she left, I loosened up a bit and started playing. I was amazed how a few tunes came back to me, although my fingers and brain were rusty. It also helped when nightfall came: my fingers knew better where to go in the dark, for some strange, inexplicable reason (I experienced this phenomenon the last times I played, months ago in Gardez. Kinda like a violin X-File).
I guess why I started this long missive-about-nothing, was that I keep having this feeling (almost like a premonition) that when I do a particular thing, it's God letting me do that one more time before the end. I hate to be so dark and depressing, but that's what I feel. I had no real intention of touching my friend the fiddle again before I came home in a couple months (and I can play my 'real' violin again, plus I am definitely going to upgrade, and buy a really nice one). I've always wanted to (just craving it), like longing for a lover's touch, but I never could bring myself to play it.
Next time, I hope it wont be so long between my musical interludes J

*I know this isn't my best writing, or much of anything important that I've said, but for some odd reason, I felt like writing this (it kept getting interrupted, too, so the flow is a little off. Sorry) ..


This was originally written on August 10th, 2006. Delays and other factors made it so I didn't have to go on the dangerous mission. I am now spending my last month in BAF, the safest place in Afghanistan. I have about 20 days to go... :)